1. The Reality
A typical morning for me as a dad, triathlon coach, and triathlete starts with an alarm set for around 5am.
Do I ever actually hear that alarm? Usually not.
As a dad of two young boys, more often than not one of them has already woken us in the night. I’m either in bed with one, feeding the other, or Sophie and I are tag-teaming on alternate nights to see who’s getting up. That’s the reality.
Does this lead to optimal recovery to train and perform at the highest level? No.
Can I still coach to the best of my ability? Yes.
Would I change it and miss these early-morning moments with my family? Absolutely not.
What you’ll find in this blog is a shift in my priorities and the types of goals I’m setting while my boys are young and need me more. It is a sacrifice, and I still feel the old version of me wanting more — more training, more racing, more performance. But the reality is, I made that decision the moment I chose to start a family, and I’m genuinely happy with it.
Life isn’t perfect. In fact, it’s often really, really hard.
But when you watch your boys take their first steps, tell you they love you, or ride their bikes for the first time, the sacrifices suddenly feel very small.
Family first. Always.
2. Fatherhood Comes First
Before committing to anything — whether that’s work, coaching commitments, or race choices — I have a very clear set of values that I try not to waver from: being present as a dad.
As much as I can, I don’t compromise on evenings and weekends. Being there for bedtimes matters to me. Being there for weekend activities matters to me. Keeping work at work is also a big one. I have a work phone that I can physically put down, which helps me be more present with my family during evenings and weekends.
Almost all of my training and coaching happens in the mornings (with the exception of a couple of evenings). That does mean I sacrifice some time with my boys before nursery, but it allows me to be there when it matters most later in the day. Coaching admin gets done during the day while the boys are at nursery — not late at night when I’m exhausted.
From a racing perspective, this also shapes my choices. Right now, Ironman racing isn’t on the horizon. Could I train for one alongside my job? Yes. But would I be present when I got home? No. I’d be exhausted, flat, and unable to run around with my boys — and for me, that’s not worth it.
I’ve raced my whole life and achieved things I’m proud of. I’m still racing, just in a lower capacity for now. The bigger races can wait. Ironmans will still be there when my boys are older and in school. For me, that’s a complete no-brainer.
3. How Coaching Fits Into My Life
When it comes to triathlon, my priorities are clear:
my athletes come before my own personal racing goals.
Helping my athletes achieve their goals brings me huge joy — whether that’s completing their first triathlon, setting a PB, or qualifying for the World Championships. Because of that, finding the time to support them properly is incredibly important to me.
If my athletes have questions, I get back to them as quickly as I can. If they need me to pace them in a session, I’m often happy to adjust my own training to do that. Their progress matters.
That said, there are honest challenges. The mental load and emotional energy required to support athletes — alongside family life — can be tough. But it’s also incredibly rewarding, and I wouldn’t change it.
Becoming a father has genuinely made me a better coach. It’s taught me to think far more deeply about what my athletes might be dealing with outside of training — lack of sleep, stress, family demands — and how those factors impact recovery and performance.
Coaching for me is more than just a job. It gives me purpose and flexibility, and it fits around family life in a way that still allows me to perform at a high level.
4. Training Smarter, Not Just Harder
Time-Efficient Sessions
My training is built around quality, not volume. Early mornings, focused sessions, and workouts with a clear purpose. Every session has to earn its place.
I no longer train for the sake of it. In the past, you’d find me adding extra sessions here and there. Now, that simply isn’t an option — I’m either with my family, poolside coaching, or at my laptop planning and giving feedback to athletes.
Consistency Over Perfection
Missed sessions happen. Broken nights happen. I’ve learned not to chase perfection — momentum matters far more than ticking every box.
If I’ve had a bad night’s sleep, I adapt. That threshold session might suddenly become an easy aerobic run, and the harder intervals move later in the week. Flexibility keeps consistency alive.
Flexible Goals
Goals adapt to life stages, not the other way around. What I’m chasing now looks very different to what I chased five years ago — and that’s okay.
In the past, it was all about getting faster over the 70.3 distance and building towards Ironmans. Right now, I know I don’t have the time to make that possible. So setting targets like running a sub-3 marathon is far more realistic than trying to push towards a sub-4-hour 70.3.
5. The Support System That Makes It Possible
None of this works without support. Sophie is my partner in crime — in family, in triathlon, in life.
We both made sacrifices when we chose to have a family, knowing our own personal racing goals would need to be adjusted or put on hold. I can’t compare my sacrifices to Sophie’s. She put her body through two back-to-back pregnancies to have our boys. While I’ve made sacrifices, my body was still able to keep exercising when possible.
Sophie is my biggest supporter. Even though she isn’t back racing anywhere near the level she was before, she still comes to support me at races and looks after the boys when I’m not around. I simply couldn’t live this life without her, and I couldn’t be more thankful.
Is it balanced equally? No — and it probably never can be. But balance doesn’t have to exist in every moment. It can exist over years. When Sophie is ready to train and race at her full capacity again, I’ll be the one making the sacrifice for her. That’s the reality of parenting.
6. Racing With a Different Mindset
Racing has changed since becoming a father — but not in a negative way.
I race more for the enjoyment of the sport now.
Do I still want to go fast? Yes — but only as fast as I’m capable of at that time.
Do I still want PBs? Yes — but not if the training cost is too high for my family.
Does it matter if I have a bad race? No. I still got out there, moved my body, and stayed active. There’s always another race.
More than anything, I’m grateful — grateful that I get to do this job for a living and be part of a community that’s striving to better itself through active living.
7. What I’ve Learned (Hard Truths)
- You can’t do everything, every week
Some weeks are good weeks (usually when the kids are sleeping). Some weeks aren’t. Adapt to what’s in front of you and communicate when you’re struggling. - Fatigue isn’t always physical
There will be times when both your cup and your partner’s cup are full. Those moments can feel isolating — but they’re often short-lived. Tomorrow is a new day. - Discipline beats motivation
Sometimes choosing an easy session over a hard one is mentally harder — but it’s often the right call if it means you can train again tomorrow and still show up at home.
8. Advice for Other Parents Chasing Big Goals
You’re not behind. You’re just in a different stage of life — and that stage will change again in five or ten years.
Start small and build gradually. You might think a 70.3 is manageable, then realise it doesn’t work for your family. Start with a 5km. Then a sprint triathlon. Then a 10km. Judge what feels right for you.
Let go of comparison. Everyone has different values and priorities. Do what makes you and your family happy.
Your kids are watching — not just what you achieve, but how you live, how you treat others, and how you prioritise what matters. Be the role model you’d want them to have. After all, our parents are usually our first role models.
9. Why I Still Chase the Start Line
I still race because I love it.
Because it keeps me healthy.
Because it challenges me.
Because it helps me dream big.
Because it inspires my kids.
Because it’s part of who I am.
Balancing fatherhood, coaching, and racing isn’t about doing everything perfectly.
It’s about being present at home and finding a way to be the best version of myself — as a dad, coach, and athlete.
And right now, that balance works.
